The Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet podcast from Forever Dog productions is all about complaining, but it’s not done by the hosts. The hosts, ever-bickering siblings Christine and Xandy Schiefer, dramatically read the worst of the worst reviews among varying subjects from Catholic Schools to KFCs.
The Schiefers brought their show to Chicago’s Den theatre on August 15th and properly roasted the shit out of us (in the best way possible). Most of the people in that room, apart from the inevitable few drag-a-longs, knew what we were in for since live shows occasionally make it into the podcast’s weekly feed. In each city they visit, they find unique and unhinged reviews of both the cities themselves and also random places throughout, in which people moan about both wild AND mild experiences. Despite the name, I can assure you this is not a show about beaches. Their intro says it all about why these people vent on the internet into the void, “they just need the world to know what they think”. Christine Schiefer, known for her true crime and paranormal podcast And That’s Why We Drink hosted alongside Em Schulz, playfully torments Xandy on stage as she does on the recordings while Xandy antagonizes her. Their relationship makes them a classic sibling duo, made even better in Chicago since their mother was in the crowd.
Places that were featured that night include the Shit Fountain, Wrigley Field, and some random suburban places but the most savage reviews from the night were for the city of Chicago itself. I can’t quite remember if Chicagoans were called “dirty street rats”…but there were a lot of reviews along those lines. A ton of what I can only describe as “New York sympathizers” seemed to be hell bent on ruining the reputation of Chicago and slandering our pizza by writing reviews on how the Big Apple takes the cake over Chi-town. Even though Chicagoans were properly roasted by Christine and Xandy, another member of the crowd took the edge off by making a bunch of friendship bracelets and passing them around. I’ve never yanked something out of a ziploc bag the way I did when I saw “WEZZLE”. If ya know ya know.
Overall this was such a fun event full of laughter and if you’re lucky enough to have these two come to your area, don’t miss the show!
